Tuesday, October 31, 2006


That's Arwen's new nickname for me. He says it like it's the sweetest pet name ever. You'd think its true meaning is something equivalent to "sugar bunny" but LBG in fact stands for: Lumpy, Bumpy, and Grumpy. Lumpy is for the peanut lump, Bumpy is for the persistent breakouts I've been suffering from. And Grumpy, well... everyone knows I haven't quite been my normal sweet self all the time lately.

Case in point, The Milkshake Incident. About a month ago Arwen called me out of the blue from his office. I don't know precisely what had gotten into him but he opened by saying, "I just wanted to tell you I love you. Sometimes I forget tell you that." Who are you and what have you done with my husband? I thought. He went on to say "I know this whole pregnancy thing can be hard, and sometimes I forget how tough things might be for you." I found myself thinking Did he get this out of one of his books? He continued, "So if I'm acting stubborn or difficult and it gets to be too much, just use this code word and I'll know to cut it out: MILKSHAKE."

I laughed out loud. I pictured him being particularly petulant and me at my wits end, shrieking "MILKSHAKE!!" like a complete lunatic. It seemed humorous. I was amused.

Jump ahead three weeks to one night that will no doubt stand out in our memories for a long time to come. We had been cuddled up on the couch together sharing a blanket and watching a movie. All was well in the Vaughan household. And then I'm not sure precisely what happened. I can't recall what triggered it but the next thing I knew I was in a full-on hormone induced rage. I was shouting. I was crying. I was using emphatic hand gestures. It was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I felt myself swirling completely out of control, swept up in a tidal wave of emotion. I had become unhinged.

In a brief moment of clarity I realized that I was in fact the problem and that I needed simply to remove myself from the situation until some later point at which my sanity would hopefully return. I tried to convey this to Arwen as best I could but the hormonal tidal wave of emotion had deprived me of all but monosyllabic words and grunting noises for getting my point across. Arwen continued to gently and patiently attempt to resolve the issue at hand, but even that proved too much for me. Suddenly I found myself shouting at the top of my lungs, "MILKSHAAAAAKE!!" like a complete lunatic.

Arwen looked at me in horror. I saw flash in his mind "Oh my god, she has completely lost her mind!" He was probably trying to figure out how he'd raise a child on his own with me locked up in the state mental institution. It turned out he had NO recollection of the whole "milkshake" code word. Once I refreshed his memory we both had a good laugh over it.

So grumpy. Yes, I have been grumpy on occassion. But I'm feeling much better now... ;)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You guys are crazy. Great prose Heather - I can completely picture everything you are describing. Sounds like you three are really making progress and that is fantastic. I am sorry I won't be able to make your shower in Houston - there is just too much pressure to be with family over thanksgiving but I hope to see you all soon. - Stephanie