Saturday, February 17, 2007


Well I'm glad this week is over. It was a rough one. From time to time as I enter a new stage in this pregnancy I find it takes me some time to adjust. And this week we hit a new stage. For the most part, I have kept going at my normal pre-pregnancy pace. All of a sudden this week that has come to a screeching halt.

It is remarkable to me how much this is a mental/emotional thing as opposed to a physical one. Turns out carrying around 30 extra pounds that writhe with a will of their own isn't really the tough part. Don't get me wrong. I am growing more uncomfortable - sleeping is difficult, my back aches all over all the time, she kicks me in the ribs and stomps on my bladder, and I feel random aches in various places on a regular basis. It is a general sense of increasing discomfort. And as I found hiking the Appalachian Trail it's remarkable how a chronic general discomfort can be more taxing mentally and emotionally than acute pain.

Even still, so far I've found that what I've physically had to put up with in pregnancy is small potatoes compared to what I went thru on the AT. Our bodies are made for this, whereas hiking 2000-odd miles, not so much.

It's the mental and emotional part that's got me all cattywampus this week. My emotions are a helter skelter roller coaster ride that is out of my control. I've felt all week that I was seeing the world through diarreah-colored glasses for lack of a better metaphor. And I just couldn't seem to get my footing and get back on an even keel.

Given where I was at this week, it was just as rough on Arwen as on me. I really don't know what I'd do without him. At times like these he shows more patience and understanding than one would think possible. He is also great at helping me figure out what's going wrong and find a solution.

After a particularly terrible day on Thursday I stopped and took an inventory of what I can do to keep myself in a better place. I realized that it is time to slow down and acknowledge that I can't take on as much as I could before. This is especially true where work is concerned. I made a promise to myself that I won't work any more late hours or weekends or subject myself to stressful deadlines. It is time to start saying no; it's time to start delegating to others. I'm also not going to keep up with what's going on in the news for the next few weeks; it's always depressing anyway. I'm going to prioritize time to relax. And at least for the next few weeks, if it's not related to this pregnancy or to the health and happiness of our new little family, then it's getting relegated to the back burner. I am trying to accept that right now there is only so much I can handle.


Beryl said...

I have to say, that i am not too surprised! I mean all of that knitting! whew...
sounds like a good time for reflection. You are going to be quite the mommy with quite the family!!
sending love... beryl and jim

Anonymous said...

Amen sister. This past week I went to the ER 3 times and have a racing heart. Still don't know what it is exactly - reaction to an antibiotic (bactrim - sulfamethaine), nervous breakdown from stress and perfectionism...who knows and I'm not even pregnant

Well bless your heart. At least your smart enough to know your limitations.
We miss you guys. Now lets go put our feet up and have some green tea.
Sarah :)