Things are going great. Sure, it's true I haven't been sleeping much. Maddox has had long stretches where he wakes every 2 hours - sometimes less - to nurse. The sleep deprivation was tough to get used to at first, but now I'm rolling with it pretty well. And the demands on my mammary glads have been astounding. This kid can pack away the ounces. Really the biggest thing this time around is the humbling realization that I don't have it all figured out. Much of the time I don't really know whether he's hungry or sleepy. I've tried all kinds of stuff and haven't found the magic formula for getting him to sleep longer stretches reliably. He had two heavenly nights this week where he slept for 5-6 hour stretches, and honestly I can't figure out what I did to contribute to that. And now tonight here we are again back in our more normal every 3 hours or so routine.
So I can't sleep, I'm nursing all the time and I generally have the sense I don't know what I'm doing. But what's great this time around is just the sense that it's all ok. So I don't have all the answers. Oh well. I do the best I can and don't stress over every decision the way I did with Roan. The thing I focus on is that sweet chubby face that's there to greet me every morning. It's impossible to feel discouraged looking at him. I just feel so happy and so grateful. I love this little boy. He's got me totally wrapped around his finger. We've got two fantastic kids, each other, and this wonderful house keeping a roof over our heads. Really I couldn't ask for more.
The one thing I've done that probably wasn't super smart is decide to start back to work. Maddox had this one week where he was consistently sleeping in 3 hour stretches and I felt so rejuvenated (how sad is that!) that I felt like I could do anything. So I was just going to start working a little. But it doesn't work like that. It's all or nothing. You talk to one client, next thing you know you have a meeting scheduled, then you've got quotes to prepare and deadlines and stress. Which is fine on the days after nights when I've slept. But I'm guessing tomorrow (well today really, in about 4 hours) may not be one of my better work days.
So Maddox is officially ginormous. He had his 2 month checkup last week, at which we learned he is 24 inches long (95th percentile) and 16 1/2 pounds. By weight he is 1 pound over the 95th percentile. He's already moving into size 3 diapers. And I don't expect his infant car seat to last him past six months.
He is a sweetheart. We of course are still getting to know each other, but so far it seems he has a sunny disposition and a good sense of humor. I hope so, because I think those will serve him well in life. There's a lot that a sunny disposition can get you through.
Roan continues to be amazing with him. She is patient and dotes on him. She squeezes his face and calls him "little Mr. Chubby Cheeks," a nickname she came up with entirely on her own. Although she does have a habit of shouting right in his face at him when he's crying, which is counterproductive. She's also been doing great at school. Her reading is progressing so well. The book she's on now doesn't even have pictures in it, if you can believe it. She's a sharp cookie with a good heart. We are very lucky.
She has become somewhat obsessed by rainbows. Getting dressed in the morning is usually interesting. It begins with her declaration that she has to wear a dress because she's a princess and princesses wear dresses. She is completely unphased by my argument that princesses can wear whatever they want, including jeans. And then she goes on to say she wants to dress "like a rainbow." Which sounds lovely but really involves pulling out a wide array of completely mismatched clothing. It is not uncommon for her ensemble to evoke "essence of bag lady," if you will. But you know, she's expressing her individuality in a completely harmless way. And if you saw the way she beamed pride over these horrendously concocted outfits, declaring "I look beautiful today," then you too could not help but agree.
There are so many photos and videos I want to post. Stuff from Christmas, from family visits with Lolli & G-Pop, Feefa, Papa & Poochie, and Gramps & K. Stuff from Logan's birthday. Hell, stuff from the last few weeks of the pregnancy and Maddox's birth. That may or may not ever happen. But I do have 4 lovely videos for you today.
Thanks for your love and good wishes.
This is a t 6 weeks old
These are more recent, 7 weeks to 2 months