First I would like to say to my faithful readers out there, thanks for not shredding me a new one for the long pause since my last post. I didn't want to publish this one until I got some videos posted, but since that's taken longer than I expected tonight I'm just going with what I've got.
Warning: This post is a lot of words with no pictures or videos.
I love this time of year. The New Year - a fresh beginning, a chance at a better "me," time to get my affairs in order, time to start checking things off lists.
Last year my New Year's resolution was rather pragmatic, not very esoteric: to go all year with no library fines! As much as I use the local library - and as much of a space cadet as I can be - that was a tall order. I'm glad to report, however, that I went all year with (almost) no fines.
Building on the tremendous success of last year's resolution I was emboldened to really go for something great this year. My resolution for 2009 is simply: Gratitude. Be one with it.
Ever since oh about month 8 of my pregnancy with Roan I've found myself tending towards a cup is half empty point of view more often than I'd like. It's the littlest things that can put a cloud over me - yarn shop closed unexpectedly, cross-town traffic, lines at the post office, the everyday inevitable inconveniences and disappointments. I've been letting those little things really get to me.
So gratitude. That means when Roan wakes up at 4 in the morning ruining my plans to hit the gym at 5:30, I try to channel some gratitude for having a child that is (mostly) healthy. And smart. And so sweet.
When Arwen and I get in an argument (not that we would ever do that) about how to (not) spend our money, I try to feel thankful to have a husband who is so responsible with our finances.
It's not that I am denying myself permission to get angry or sad any more. It's just that I'm trying to create a tiny space, a pause, just long enough to get some perspective before my emotions go off the deep end.
Now that we're two weeks in to the new year I can honestly say I am amazed at how much this tiny change in attitude has turned things around. I would say I'm about 60% happier. Just happy period really. I haven't felt lately that something needed to be "fixed" with me. Arwen and I have been getting along great, and I've noticed Roan and I are enjoying are time together more.
All this positivity seems to have spilled over into other areas too. I have found myself more oriented towards solving problems rather than complaining about them. And I've felt more joyful, more playful, and more like the me from before kids that I liked better.
I think I need all that positivity too. There seems to be an awful lot of fear on the horizon with the economy where it's at. I think probably everyone is worried for their jobs. Myself, I plan to focus on the things I do have control over, make the best choices I can and try to let go of the things outside my power.
Here's to peace and happiness for you in the New Year!