Things have been going along so smoothly that I've gotten spoiled. When a day like today happens I get all out of sorts. Roan woke up about 4 times last night/ this morning so I was incredibly tired when I finally got out of bed. Even though she'd slept badly (and me as an unfortunate consequence as well), she woke up at 8 am, big sunshiney smiling eyes, ready to tackle the world. I was so exhausted I just parked her in her barnyard (a playmat thingy with lots of fun things to do) and crashed out next to her on the couch. Around 9 I finally gave up and got up for the day. Haven't been this tired in a long time. Until I got some coffee in me it felt like an out of body experience.
Once I did get going my big task for the day was to make the trek across town to hit Bosom Buddies (cute huh), a local merchant specializing in all things breastfeeding. It looks like we have indeed found a nanny, and unfortunately our stocks of milk are totally depleted. The pump I've been using developed a crack so I haven't been able to harvest much milk for the past few weeks. I needed to buy a new pump so I can replenish our stocks before Roan's first day with the nanny. It will probably take me over a week to pump enough for a single day - she is eating so much now.
The trip out to the store was all rush-rush-rush because I was trying to hurry back before Roan woke up and needed to eat again (of course little did I know she woke up the second I stepped out the door). As I was hurrying home I was thinking to myself how interesting it is how much of my day, my brain and my life revolves around her. Even though she kept me up all night and I was so sleep deprived I could hardly see straight, my whole day was about getting that pump, and my spare time for the next weeks will be all about building up her milk bank.
It didn't help that it was really really hot today. Really hot. Not only is that a drag for us big people, but it especially seems to tax Roan. She just gets crankier when it's hot. Thank goodness for the AC in her bedroom. While I was on the hunt for a pump, Arwen went to our storage unit and loaded up some things we need for our office. We spent the hot afternoon unpacking books into our bookcases and moving desks into the new office. We now have *almost* all the clutter out of our living room, and Roan has her room to herself now.
I had intended to catch a nap this afternoon, but somehow before I knew it it was already 5, and that's when my busy time starts. From 5 to 11 I nurse every 2 hours, which means there's not time for much else, certainly not a nap. Oh well.
Then this evening Roan suddenly went into turbo cranky mood out of nowhere. She was acting hungry, but then when she tried to nurse it seemed like she couldn't. She arched her back and screamed. Nothing I did calmed her down - none of the stuff that usually works. It's just not like her to get cranky for no reason. And I mean she was sqawling her head off, all red faced, head thrown back. It's upsetting to see your baby in such discomfort and not have a clue what's going on.
Eventually I figured out (I think) that her gums are bothering her. We pulled out all our baby books and Arwen did an emergency search on teething. It sounds like she may be "pre-teething," starting to feel discomfort as her teeth begin to think about coming in. Once we got her a cold washrag to suck on she cheered up. But nursing her was tricky. I had to ice down her gums and stand in front of an oscillating fan before she would latch on. And the thing is if I have even a shred of hope at a reasonable night's sleep, she *has* to eat.
Then she got tired and was ready for a nap. I've gotten so spoiled lately because normally she goes down so easily. I don't have to rock her to sleep anymore normally; I just swaddle her up, lay her down still awake, give her a paci if she wants it, and she takes care of the rest. But not tonight of course. She just needed a little extra help getting off to dreamland, but by then I was feeling so taxed. We worked through it together. Some nights are just harder than others. Now I have a whole 20 minutes to myself (which actually I've already used up writing this blog entry) before it's time to feed her again.
So here's hoping tonight will be nice and uneventful, and tomorrow will be a better day.