09/07/2006 - Live from Houston
Well this has been a good couple of days, considering the long hours traveling and in meetings. I've gotten a lot of work done, and even better managed to spend a little quality time with Mom and Stephen.
Mom was really cute. When I got there Tuesday night she said she just had to get something for "the baby." You know, the "baby" that is barely past the embryonic stage in its development. The "baby" that still looks like the creature from the movie Alien in the ultrasound photos. Well, she got "the baby" the cutest teddy bear rattle. It says "Little Cutie" on it. I will enjoy looking at it over the coming months as we wait to meet the tiny creature.
It's funny. The more time that passes, the more this pregnancy seems real. It should seem real enough, given that I started this blog to chronicle the whole thing, but it's so hard to get your head around the idea that you are going to be completely responsible for another person, that your life will soon revolve around this little person you haven't even met yet. But the more real it becomes, the more suceptible I am to worrying. You know, like what if "something happened."
Even before there was a "baby," when it was just Arwen and me, I've thought a lot about the fact that when you are lucky enough to have someone in your life that you really care about, along with that comes the fear of losing that person. Arwen and I have been so lucky to be wildly in love with each other for years and years. But it's like Janice Joplin said. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." When you love someone with all your heart, it's the one thing in the world you can't stand the thought of losing.
But the great thing about worry is that it doesn't help one way or the other to indulge in it. So you might as well do the things you can - eat right, get rest, avoid bungee jumping - and then forget about your worries. So that's what I plan to do, as much as possible.