"Thank gawd for McDonalds!"

Those are not words I find myself uttering on a regular basis - or perhaps that have ever left my lips - at least not since the days of Happy Meals. With their fat-packed and nutrition-deficient grub, it's generally a place to be avoided in my book. But Tuesday afternoon at around 4 pm, "Thank gawd for McDonald's" is exactly what I found myself saying.

Arwen and I had been on our way down to our realtor's office to put an offer in on a house. It's a much more modest house than the last couple we've gotten excited about. But we think it will be adequate in size and amenities, and if we could get it for the right price we'd feel really good about it.

Anyway, we'd made it about 3/4 of the way to the realtor's office. It's about 40 minutes from our house. Suddenly our clutch cable snapped. We knew our clutch cable had snapped because we had heard that distinct "SNAP" sound on a prior occasion, followed by the clutch pressing firmly against the floorboard. We coasted off freeway to regroup.

It had been a busy day. Arwen had taken the day off to run a bunch of errands, including getting the car exhaust tested and braving the DMV to get a set of Colorado license plates. We were racing down to the realtor's office near the end of the business day to put in this offer before the broker had to leave for the day. "If I was a superstitious person," Arwen said, "I'd just go straight home and forget about putting in this offer."

Compounding these difficulties, I realized as we coasted to a stop that hunger was setting in with a fierceness I've only known since this pregnancy started. I knew that left unchecked, a mild grumpiness, followed by anger, topped off by flowing tears were certain in my future. I could clearly see myself having a hunger-induced temper tantrum on the floor of the realtor's office.

Just when total panic was setting in, I looked up to see a McDonald's across the street from us. "Saved!" I thought. "I'm saved!!" Note to self: Never set out on a journey - no matter how short it is supposed to be - without a pack of raisins and a can of roasted almonds.

Here is the latest belly photo. It's from this past Monday - I just haven't had a chance to post it. We met with our midwife last night and she confirmed that I have gained 3 lbs since our last appointment, which puts me right on track for weight gain. And we got to hear the heartbeat again!! I'm 18 weeks 4 days today, so we'll be setting up our 20 week ulrasound soon!

Frogging the froggy

Oh Drat! Just when I thought I was 66.66666% finished with the froggy hat & booties set, I hit a snag. I knit the hat up quickly - except for the pom-pom eyeballs and the embroidered smile which I still have yet to do. Then I moved on to the first flipper bootie. Although I followed the pattern faithfully, the lone bootie has a fatal flaw. The flipper part came out great - really, really cute - but there's no way the darn thing has a chance in Hades of staying on. The ankle part of the sock is nowhere close to long enough.

So now comes the fun part: rip it all out and start over. Ironically, when you have to pull out stitches in knitting it's called "frogging" because you rip-it, rip-it. Ha ha. I'm not exactly doubled over in laughter. Oh well, frogging is just a fact of life with most knitting projects. Luckily I enjoy the process itself as much as the finished object, so it only means more time spent doing something I love.

IT'S SNOWING!!!

YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! Oh it is soooooo beautiful. I just can't even tell you. And to think, yesterday the high was in the upper 70's! We took Sasha for a little walk tonight and she just had a blast running around in circles, digging in the snow and acting like a puppy. Our park is so beautiful. All the trees are white, there's about 4 inches of fluffy, sparkly snow on the ground, and it generally looks like Christmas. In fact I found myself thinking "Wow, it looks like the North Pole display at the mall!" And to think, we *live* in this magical place! Now the real question is... Will we still feel this way about the snow once April comes around? Here are a few pictures of us playing in the snow tonight:

And here's the latest belly photo, as promised. That peanut is growing, I tell ya!!

Now the size of a lobster tail

I thought you'd want to know: "Baby is now about 5 to 5 1/2 inches long from top to tail and weighs a little more than 5 ounces, about the size of a lobster tail."

Sorry to leave ya hanging

I know it's been a little while since my last post. But in my defense, it's been a little bit of a rough week for me. Oh nothing terribly dramatic - I'm just belly aching over here (yes, pun intended). I'm sure in a few months I'll look back at this time as the golden period of my pregnancy. But at the moment, I just feel like complaining!

For starters, ever since about two weeks before I learned I was expecting, my face has been broken out like a teenage McDonald's fry cook. I keep expecting it to pass. Everyone talks about how beautiful you look when you've got a baby on board - the "glow" of pregnancy. Baloney! More like the glow of cheese pizza. Seriously. It's bad.

As if that's not enough, I have recently come to understand that due to a dreadful habitual mistake I have made over the past two years in applying SPF 15 moisturizer every morning, I have developed a darkened area on my face. You see, in applying moisturizer I focused on the cheeks, the eyes, the forehead, the nose and the chin. I tragically overlooked the area just above the lip. So now I am sporting a freckle moustache. Very attractive. Now when I go into the grocery store I imagine people thinking, "Yeah that girl would be cute without all the zits and that moustache." Niiiice.

These complaints may just be vanities, but compouding those are new aches and pains that are starting to develop. The "experts" out there have certain rules about how one should sleep after one's fourth month of pregnancy that are wreaking havoc with my body. Apparently, once you're as far along as me, sleeping on your back is verboten. As the baby grows, you see, its pressure can cut off blood flow, depriving you and he/she/it of oxygen. Depriving your kid of oxygen definitely sounds like a bad thing, but I can't help wonder how the heck kids survived before these revered experts were ruining the sleeping patterns of moms like me. I'm pretty sure no one ever told my mom not to sleep on her back. I'll have to ask her though.

Anyway, since I'm not allowed to sleep on my back, I'm supposed to sleep on my side, preferably my left side because that supposedly maximizes blood flow to the baby. The problem with that is that by about 3 in the morning both of my hips are so sore they just can't take it any more. And my shoulders are ground into the bed, so that both my upper back and my lower back are in total agony. This morning when I extracted my achy body from bed, I had to immediately turn on an hour of a prenatal yoga tape just so I could feel whole again. And it's supposed to get a whole lot worse from here with the aches and pains! But I'm going to work on my configuration of pillows to see if I can rig up a bonafide Pillow System for myself.

The only other thing that has me a little bent out of shape is that even though I keep getting bigger - and lemme tell ya, right now I'm HUUUGE - I'm not gaining any weight. I haven't gained a single pound in 3 weeks. I don't get it. What the heck is in there that's taking up all that room and yet is apparently weightless? Helium? Naturally I'm watching what I eat and trying to make healthy choices. I will even admit to my habit of keeping a daily food pyramid chart with tic marks for each food group. But that's just to make sure I'm hitting all the different nutrients. Believe me, I'm not confining my diet to low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb options. My midwife suggested full fat milk, and I'm gulping it down happily. I indulge in the occasional BLT or hamburger. And yes, I will confess to a few covert runs to The Border. But I'm sure I'm worrying for nothing, and my body is working as it should. And I'm sure the peanut would send me running to the fridge if it wasn't getting what it needed.

Oh yeah, one last development. Arwen's guy friends who have tread before him in the path to fatherhood have all asked him at different times something along the lines of, "So.... has Heather started getting cranky yet?" And up till recently he's been able to sincerely say, "No, in fact I can't remember the last time I've seen so happy and content." We actually had the hubris to think maybe it wouldn't happen to us. Well guess what: that day has arrived. I try to keep the emotions in check and at least to hang on to some shred of rationality, but there have been times when I'm just not the calm, level-headed, open-minded person I'm accustomed to being. Arwen is really sweet. He generally tries to find some way to "fix" what I'm feeling. At least at this point I can be self-aware enough that I can say "I know it doesn't make any sense that I'm crying right now. I know that. But that's just what I have to do. And it's not your fault." So at least I've got that going for me.

So wah wah wah. Poor pregnant lady. Who am I kidding. Even with a few bumps in the road, I am still loving having this peanut on board. Sometimes I catch myself in the mirror and say to myself, "Wow, this is really happening to us!" We are so dang lucky.

I will post a new belly photo very soon.

Week 16

Here's the latest photo. I must say, I am only posting these photos as a public service and an exercise in humility. Bare-bellied is by no means the most flattering pose for me these days. That's not to say I'm not feeling cute being preggo - I am! - but my big belly looks a lot cuter in a maternity shirt than exposed to the open air.

This week has been fairly eventful. We came about *this* close to putting in an offer on a 2 story home built in 1895 that had been converted to 4 apartment units. It was really tempting. We are big fans of the idea of having other people help pay off your mortgage investment. But the overwhelming prospect of potentially massive renovations finally outweighed the numerous possibilities we saw for the place.

Friday night we were just putzing around the house until I couldn't stand it anymore and prodded Arwen to go take a walk with me. We were so confused when we stepped onto the street and saw hundreds of people. We'd forgotten - yet again - that it was the First Friday of the month, when the art galleries all over the city keep their doors open till 10 pm, and people wander gallery to gallery and shop to shop, beer and wine in hand. We happened into the historic Oriental theater around the corner from our house where we found a dress rehearsal going on for an international professional belly dancing show. And let me tell you, these girls were TALENTED. Just ask Arwen. ;)

On top of that was some kind of annual pub crawl on bicycles going on. There were about 200 people in costume crammed into the bar next door to our house and spilling out into the parking lot outside, blitzed out of their minds. One lady was wearing a white petticoat/tutu contraption with NOTHING on underneath. Apparrently she won "Best Use of Ass" for the event. So I would have to say Friday night was an unexpectedly successful, if salacious evening!

Saturday we ran all kinds of errands, cleaned the house, and were generally productive. We rewarded ourselves with a "date night:" we went out to dinner at a wonderful restaurant we hadn't tried before and then followed that up by going to see a movie in an *actual movie theater*. Something we hadn't done in several months. Which for us - chronic movieholics - is an eternity. We saw The Departed with Jack Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg, Matt Damon, and Lionardo DiCaprio. Usually it seems like the more stars a movie has, the more it sucks. But the online reviews praised it highly, so we gave it a shot and we weren't disappointed.

As if that isn't enough fun for one weekend, today we ventured out to Boulder for the Solar Home Tour. Arwen ate it up - He is so excited about the alternative energy thing. It makes me happy to see him happy. And it seems like the whole renewable energy thing is very do-able. Who knows, you may find solar panels on our house one day.

Day 95

"Baby is now urinating."

Ewwwww.

Updates

Well here's the latest belly shot. This is week 15. Today was a good day. With a little help from practically every recent mom I know, I managed to crack the mystery of what car seat and stroller to pick. I swear, I had myself so bent out of shape over the dizzying array of options I wasn't even sure what my name was anymore. One thing I learned: Never walk into a Babies R Us alone when you're trying to make heads or tails of all this baby gear! Whew, now I can move on to the next stultifying parenting questions!

And here's where I am so far on the froggy hat & booties set. Unfortunately the happy lime color I picked just doesn't come through very well in the photos. But trust me, it's looking very frog-y. You may be wondering, "What's the deal with all those knitting needles?" Well this hat calls for the use of double pointed needles, which are a pain in the rear (I'm using 5 needles at once!) but are handy for making small, seamless, tube-shaped items like hats and socks. Ah, the things we do for love...

Well it's way passed my bedtime, so I better hit the sack soon. I wouldn't be up so late except at 9:30 this evening I realized that no groceries had magically materialized in the house, even though I've been waiting for them to do so since Sunday. The prospect of being oh so hungry tomorrow was even more unappealing than the thought schlepping down the isles of the King Sooper at closing time. And yes, Arwen did offer to hit the grocery store in my stead, but come on. You know me and food. Those are decisions best not delegated. :)

Ok I rambled on long enough. Good night everyone!

"It's a great time to be a fetus"

That's a quote from the daily pregnancy calendar I read on iVillage.com. It also says that the peanut has been upgraded to the size of a small gerbil:

"Your baby weighs about 2.8 ounces (79 grams) and is about 4 1/2 inches from crown to rump -- roughly the size of a small gerbil. At any time, you will begin to feel fetal movement as your baby's bones harden, and she starts a big growth spurt. Your baby has plenty of room: At this point, she could fit in the palm of your hand. This is a great time to be a fetus. At any given time, she might be playing with the umbilical cord (which she's now able to grasp), putting her thumb in her mouth, or kicking at the amniotic sac."

Woo hoo. Party on.

What's New

Well I had trouble at my local yarn store finding a good green yarn for the froggy set. All the stuff that was the right gauge came in very kid-unfriendly (yet elegant) poop green colors. And all the fun green colored yarn was in the wrong gauge. I know what you're thinking: "How can a poop colored yarn be elegant?" I don't make the rules, people. I just report 'em like I see 'em.

So this was the best I could do, but I think it's going to turn out to be a nice choice. It is very inexpensive, soft, and 100% merino wool. The photo is a little misleading on the color. It's a lime green, something in a light kermie.

Let's see... what else is new. We saw the midwife last night for a checkup. Everything looks good. Arwen got to hear the heartbeat for the first time. There is something magical in that woosh-woosh sound. I haven't felt any movement yet, but that's the next big thing to be on the lookout for. Amy said that most first-time moms start feeling movement around week 18 or 20. I'm only 14 1/2 right now, so I still have a little ways to go.

One other thing I wanted to mention. We've gotten some sweet and thoughtful goodies in the mail from people, and I just wanted to say thanks. Karen sent us a funny book for dads called "Pregnancy Sucks for Men." Josefa sent us a care package with all kinds of goodies in it, including a cute little pair of socks and a book about teddy bears. Our friends Billy & Jenny sent us the Dr. Sears Baby Book which articulates a wonderful parenting philosophy. So thanks you guys.

Ta-daaaa!

So here they are, the finished product. One pair of booties and one cute little hat to match. I actually finished them days and days ago but I've been too lazy to take a picture. Something new for the hope chest!




Here are a couple more shots of the hat. I'm particularly proud of it, since it was cobbled together partly from a pattern and partly with a little ingenuity. I never thought those triangles would be so tricky! I can't wait to see it live and in person on our little ray of sunshine!


Well anyway... as far as what I'll be knitting next... the results are in. It was a close call, but the frog hat and booties are the clear winner, followed closely by the duck hat & booties. I have to say I was a little surprised by the overwhelming popularity of the froggy set, and also that the bunny hat got no takers (the baby in the picture was sooo cute!). So thanks everyone for voting. I can't wait to get my needles a-clacking again!

Belly Shots

I've managed to fall a little behind on posting belly shots, so now I'm making up for it. You can see the progression of the last 3 weeks. I'm officially 14 weeks today, and it seems like the peanut bump is really starting to become noticable. My clothes are getting tighter. I've especially noticed that all my t-shirts are too short. I have to wear something under them or risk peeking out. So today I picked up a pair of maternity jeans and a couple of cute maternity tops. The jeans and one of the t-shirts are what I'm wearing in the Week 14 picture. It's nice to have some clothes that look good and feel good. I've missed being able to bum around in a pair of comfy jeans. As far as what we've been up to lately, it's mostly been the boring practical to-do list type of stuff. Saturday we started our home search in earnest. We went out all day yesterday with a realtor to get a feel for what's out there. There is a lot to see in this neighborhood. By the end of the day we'd become interested in a totally different area than where we started. We did manage to have some fun last night when our friends Amanda and Doug invited us to a party at one of their friends' houses. It was yet another experience of hanging out with a roomful of strangers who we almost instantly felt we had a lot in common with. As far as pregnancy symptoms go, things are supposed to be changing for me now. Moving into the second trimester I'm supposed to be feeling less queasy and my energy level is supposed to be returning. Well I guess I'm halfway there. I seem to be back to eating almost all my normal foods. Except for some weird reason, Mexican food is tricky for me. But as far as my energy level goes, I've got a long way to go. I have been *so* tired all this week. Friday night I could've gone to bed at 6 pm. Tonight I plan to be in bed by 8:30. I don't know why the peanut is so tired lately. I guess all that growing is hard work.	Week 14
	Week 13
	Week 12

Just a reminder - if you haven't had a chance to vote in the "What should I knit next poll," be sure to scroll down and cast your vote!

Knitting as Therapy

Well this week hasn't exactly been the greatest ever for my family, but we keep on keepin' on. Thanks to everyone who has offered their sympathies. We are so lucky to be blessed with a close and loving family, and it's in the toughest times that we shine in our ability to come together for each other. For that I am incredibly grateful.

This past week I picked up the knitting needles after a long relocation-induced hiatus. There is a yarn boutique within walking distance of our house (dangerous!), and the ladies there are so nice and helpful. When I told them I was looking for a little something for our upcoming bundle of joy, they fussed over me until I found just the thing. An adorable pattern for some booties and some beautifully soft silk-alpaca yarn in a lovely pumpkin color.

With all the stress of this last week, I raced through those booties in no time. You can see my handiwork pictured here. The only thing they're missing is a pretty yellow ribbon tied into a bow on each one. It's funny but knitting seems to be the cure for whatever ails me - whether grief, anxiousness, impatience, or boredom - picking up those needles seems to soothe all my cares away. They take me to a quiet contemplative place where I can mull over what's bothering me without drowning in it. Knitting isn't as cheap as booze, but it comes without the hangover!

So since the booties knit up quickly, my next task is to create a hat to match. That has proven more perplexing. The pattern I originally selected is difficult to decipher and even tougher to knit. So I went on a quest for an alternative hat. After trying out a bunch of different options, I finally settled on something that is part pattern, part made up by moi. When I'm done it should look like an orange cap with a rim of triangles, sort of like a festive sunshine crown. Hopefully it will come out alright. Here's all I've got so far.

Now that my needles are back to clacking, I have so. many. plans. for cute stuff to knit. I thought it might be fun if I posted them in a poll. What do you think I should knit next? (Click on the pattern description to view the pattern. Click on a checkbox to select your answer. You can select more than one answer.)

What should I knit next?
	Swirl hat
	Tart hat
	Bunny hat
	Frog hat and booties
	Jester hat
	Duck hat and booties
	Pixie hat
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Uncle Kean, we will miss you

We had some sad news over the weekend. On Sunday we learned that my Uncle Kean died suddenly and unexpectedly. The circumstances at this point are not entirely clear, but it appears that he suffered from a heart attack or that his heart suddenly stopped.

My uncle was a young man, incredibly vibrant and full of life. He brought so much joy to everyone who knew him. Every room he ever walked into lit up with his sparkle and magic. He had a way of making people feel loved and cared for like no one else. To be a guest in his home or at his dinner table was a real treat. He could throw a party like nobody's business.

He and his partner of 14 years or so made a beautiful life together in San Francisco. He and Jim met around the same time as Arwen and me. Having been lucky enough to experience for myself loving and being loved by someone completely and unconditionally, I am so grateful that my uncle was fortunate to have shared his life with such a wonderful person. And now my heart goes out to Jim in what is no doubt an incomparable loss.

Losing someone suddently is so hard because it takes so long for it to sink in. I feel like I suffer over and over again the terrible realization that I won't see his beaming face again. That I won't see him at Christmas like we planned. That he won't ever get to hold our little peanut.

I had been trying to get in touch with Uncle Kean the last couple of weeks to share our good news with him. When I picked up Jim's voicemail on my cell phone I thought at first that he was returning my message. But then the tone of his voice made it readily apparent that he was calling with terrible news.

I so wanted to get to tell Uncle Kean that he was about to be a great uncle. I couldn't wait to tell him about my midwife and the hospital we picked. As a former RN, he was the one who planted the idea of using a midwife in my head to begin with. I was counting on him being around to help explain this 'crazy idea' to any doubters in our family. I feel so cheated, so robbed of getting to share this amazing experience with him. And I feel like the whole world has been robbed of the light and love that he so freely offered of himself.

So many people have said to me - when I expressed regret at not getting a chance to tell Uncle Kean that we're pregnant - "Don't worry; he knows all about that now." Whether or not that is true, I can't say. But I do believe that my dear uncle will live on in each of us whose lives he touched, who carry a piece of him in their hearts. And I know he will be with me in that delivery room when it comes time to dig deep and find all the strength that I can muster.

I intend for this blog to be a happy place, so I'm sorry for this somber tone. I just felt like I could not post cheerful musings or belly photos or anything else without stopping for a moment to acknowledge this loss.

09/07/2006 - Live from Houston

Well this has been a good couple of days, considering the long hours traveling and in meetings. I've gotten a lot of work done, and even better managed to spend a little quality time with Mom and Stephen.

Mom was really cute. When I got there Tuesday night she said she just had to get something for "the baby." You know, the "baby" that is barely past the embryonic stage in its development. The "baby" that still looks like the creature from the movie Alien in the ultrasound photos. Well, she got "the baby" the cutest teddy bear rattle. It says "Little Cutie" on it. I will enjoy looking at it over the coming months as we wait to meet the tiny creature.

It's funny. The more time that passes, the more this pregnancy seems real. It should seem real enough, given that I started this blog to chronicle the whole thing, but it's so hard to get your head around the idea that you are going to be completely responsible for another person, that your life will soon revolve around this little person you haven't even met yet. But the more real it becomes, the more suceptible I am to worrying. You know, like what if "something happened."

Even before there was a "baby," when it was just Arwen and me, I've thought a lot about the fact that when you are lucky enough to have someone in your life that you really care about, along with that comes the fear of losing that person. Arwen and I have been so lucky to be wildly in love with each other for years and years. But it's like Janice Joplin said. "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." When you love someone with all your heart, it's the one thing in the world you can't stand the thought of losing.

But the great thing about worry is that it doesn't help one way or the other to indulge in it. So you might as well do the things you can - eat right, get rest, avoid bungee jumping - and then forget about your worries. So that's what I plan to do, as much as possible.

9/4/2006 - Labor Day

Arwen and I managed to have a nice weekend, considering I worked some Saturday, Sunday and most of today. Besides going to that party saturday night, we've been doing a lot of walking around the neighborhood, checking out shops and restaurants, sampling the food, and checking out houses for sale.

Last night around 10 we were both hungry. The prospects of finding a place open that late on a Sunday night before Labor Day weren't promising. But whaddaya know, just around the corner from us is a place called ".99 cent Tacos." Much to our surprise, the place was hopping. There was a guy outside cooking up a huge slab of meat (pork we were later told) with a crowd eating, drinking and enjoying themselves. We gobbled up some delicious, although tiny, tacos and tostadas for a pittance. It turns out the place stays open till 1 AM on Sundays, and you never know when you will need cheap Mexican food in the wee hours of the morning.

We also checked out the "Taste of Colorado" tonight, an annual festival held downtown with music, food and local vendors. I had been working feverishly to get some software ready for a client demo tomorrow and *finally* wrapped things up just in time to catch the last hour of the festival. That's me in the photo above about to enjoy a French Bratwurst. (Whoever heard of a French Bratworst? Isn't that an oxymoron?) We had a good time roaming around, eating carnival food and people watching. I had half a mind to pick up one of the adorable tie-dyed onesies I saw, but I figured there will be plenty of time for that later.

Oh the other important thing we accomplished this weekend was getting Arwen's snowboarding pass for Breckenridge. He may end up getting one for Winter Park as well. I figure he better get as much snowboarding in as possible this year because who knows what next year will be like. It shouldn't be too long though before we get to start the peanut on a snowboard of his/her own. I think ski school starts at age 3!

Tomorrow I leave for a business trip to Houston. It'll be nice to see Mom and Stephen and Kelly and Lee Ann, but it won't be fun to be away from Arwen for three days.

9/3/2006 - Starting to feel like home

Don't have much to report today. Life is pretty darn good here in Denver. Although it still mostly feels like we are on vacation, we are starting to settle into the happy realization that this is *our* new town. One thing that has really helped that along is our friends Amanda and Doug. They have gone out of their way to show us some cool things around town and to help us feel like this is home.

Last night they had us over to their house for a party celebrating their recent snowboarding trip to Chile as well as Amanda's birthday. They made Pisco Sours (a delicious - or so I heard - Chilean cocktail somewhat similar in flavor to a margarita on the rocks), had lots of yummy things to munch on, and showed pictures of their trip. They had a houseful of friends who were a lot of fun. And Amanda & Doug went out of their way to let everyone know that we're the new kids on the block, so folks were especially friendly and made an effort to introduce themselves. We met a lot of great people who generally live in the neighborhood, some with kids, some with kids on the way, lots of them outdoorsy types, all of them funny and smart.

We learned a lot at the party! We heard about the hut system in the Rockies, where you and a group of friends can reserve a hut for the weekend. It's most popular in winter, and people snowshoe or cross country ski in anywhere from a half mile to 11 miles to the huts. We also learned about Denver schools, so now we can start the process of looking for a home. Apparently they have this thing called "Colorado Choice" which means that you can pick any school for your kid to go to - even out of district - as long as you provide the transportation. That's because schools are funded mostly by state taxes rather than property taxes, so everyone sort of has an equal claim to the good schools. We heard about lots of great restaurants we'll have to try out. And one of Amanda's friends, who is a Physician's Assistant and is due to deliver at the same hospital one month before me, said that my CNM Amy Wallace has a great reputation.

It's funny how meeting just a few of the right people can really make a difference in making a place feel like home.

8/31/2006 - Amy Wallace of Little Tree

Today I found my health care provider for this pregnancy! Her name is Amy Wallace of Little Tree, and she's a Certified Nurse Midwife with St. Joseph's Hospital. She has a bachelor's degree and a master of science degree in nursing and eleven years of experience as a midwife. I had done some reading about midwifery, but wasn't positive it was the right choice for me until I spoke with her in person. Amy's friendly demeanor and her obvious professional competence put me right at ease. Her office is five minutes from our house in an adorable, historical shop front building. She spent nearly two hours with me, reviewing my medical history and records, explaining what midwifery is, taking blood and urine samples for labwork, examining me, and answering all my endless questions.

We listened to the baby's heartbeat for the first time! It was going at 155 beats per minute, which is within the range of normal. She confirmed that the peanut is the right size for 10 weeks. And she determined that my bone structure will provide enough room for a good sized baby (something I was worried about since I have a short torso). She also said I have excellent muscle tone, which should help me recover after birth.

Birth!! Woah! We are having a baby! Sometimes it's still hard for me to grasp.

I am really excited about delivering at St. Joseph's Hospital. We haven't taken the tour yet (we get to do that a week from saturday) but we've taken an online tour. Their LDR (labor, delivery & recovery) suites have lots of wonderful features like whirlpool tubs, a birthing bed with many positions, birthing bars, and other "birth accessories" that help during delivery. St. Joe's is a big proponent of skin-to-skin contact immediately after birth and of rooming in. The LDR suites are set up so that the baby's immediate after birth care and admission procedures can be done bedside.

For those of you who are not familiar with the practice of nurse midwifery, you may have some questions. I know I did.

Q. Does this mean you're going to deliver at home?
A. No. Amy works with a group of Certified Nurse Midwives who practice with St. Joseph's hospital in downtown Denver. St. Joseph's has delivered more babies than any hospital in Colorado, and their birthing unit, called The Baby Place, is a spa-like setting and has been nationally recognized. We will have access to all the latest technology, and should anything go wrong we will be in the ideal setting to address it.

Q. So I guess this means you won't be able to have anaesthesia during labor?
A. Actually, I will. Anaesthesiologists are available 24/7 at St. Joe's. Whether I plan ahead of time to use it, or whether I opt for it unexpectedly during labor it will be available to me. I will have all the same choices in this regard as any other delivering mom.

Q. Does this mean you won't be using an obstetrician?
A. That is correct. As long as the baby and I continue to be in good health, we will continue in Amy's care. If I happen to develop a serious condition like gestational diabetes or high blood pressure during pregnancy, I will transfer to the care of an obstetrician. Amy has access to board-certified obstetricians 24 hours a day, should she need to consult with them regarding my care. And of course if I feel at any point in time that I would be more comfortable with an obstetrician I have the ability to transfer over.

Q. What if you have to have an emergency C-section?
A. No problem. Should I need an emergency C-section or should any other condition arise that would be best addressed by a doctor, board-certified obstetricians are available 24/7 to provide that care. Likewise, should there be a problem with the baby necessitating a stay in NICU, St. Joe's has a nationally recognized NICU.

Q. Is she going to wave crystals over you or give you potions made with eye of newt?
A. No way! Amy's practice follows the norms of Western medical methods. With a masters of science in nursing, she is a trained medical professional and she shared with me that she takes research seriously. For those of you who know me well, you know that with my scientific background I would not entrust my pregnancy or our sweet little peanut to a health care practitioner operating outside the standards of Western medicine.

Q. Is this covered by insurance?
A. It sure is. In fact, health insurance companies are big fans of Certified Nurse Midwives. The patients of CNMs tend to have shorter stays in the hospital and fewer medical interventions, which equate to lower costs for the health insurance companies. It also typically means an improved experience for the patients.

Q. Are you putting yourself and your baby at risk by opting to use a midwife instead of an obstetrician?
A. It goes without saying that if I thought that even for a second I wouldn't even consider using a Certified Nurse Midwife. Certified Nurse Midwives are highly competent professionals. They screen their patients to confirm that they are good candidates for using a midwife's services, and they monitor patients throughout pregnancy for issues that would necessitate a doctor's care.

Obstetricians shine brightest in high-risk pregancies or pregnancies with complications. In contrast, midwives' strong suit is in managing normal, healthy pregnancies. They have more time available to spend with their patients. They make education a priority. They have time to make their patients feel listened to and to help them feel comfortable with this amazing journey. While obstetricians are usually only present during the final moments of delivery, midwives are present throughout labor and delivery. Even if I had to transfer into the care of an obstetrician during labor, she would still be present to offer emotional support. I am choosing a midwife because I hope to get better, more personal, more complete care than what I could expect from an obstetrician.

I feel comfortable working with a Nurse Midwife because I believe that the risks to myself and the baby are no greater than working with an obstetrician, especially in light of the facilities and resources she has access to. In addition, I feel that Amy's practice and midwifery in general better address the whole woman and the whole pregnancy. I have never felt so fully cared for by a health care professional than I did with Amy. And not because she was nice or made me feel good. But because of her solid medical professionalism and her ability to address issues you almost never hear a doctor discuss: nutrition, breastfeeding, birthing options, and anaesthesia options.

By choosing to work with Amy I feel that my preferences will be honored, my concerns will be addressed, and this pregnancy and birth will be an enriching experience.

Here are some things I really like about Amy's practice:

• In addition to the time she spends with patients one-on-one discussing all sorts of issues related to pregnancy, child birth, and child care, she offers a wide range of classes at Little Tree. Childbirth preparation, breastfeeding, infant care, cloth diapering, the circumcision decision, and how to carry your baby in a sling.


• One option she offers is something called "Centering Pregnancy." It's basically like a group doctor's visit. It's a two hour appointment, during which each patient gets individual time with the midwife followed by group time spent on education and answering questions. Dads often come to these appointments, and women with a range of due dates participate. This is only optional, but I think this is a good fit for us. Since we don't know many people in Denver - and don't know anyone yet with small kids - I think this is a great way to become involved in a community of new parents.


• Every week she hosts a free gathering from 11-12 called Parent Chat. Each week they have a different topic, and people gather - some patients and some not - to discuss various topics of interest. It's another opportunity for education and connection with other parents and parents-to-be.


• She also provides well-woman care, so even after the baby comes I can continue to see her for my annual checkup.

You can read more about St. Joseph's Certified Nurse Midwives here. And if you have a chance, take a tour of St. Joseph's Baby Place to see the amazing, spa-like setting we will be delivering in.

8/30/2006 - Settling into a routine

Well we finally managed to get around to snapping our first belly photo. Does it look like I'm purposely swaying my back to stick out my tummy? Because I was trying to stand up as straight as possible. I was a little disappointed when I saw it. Much ado about nothing. How can the peanut bump look that small in the photo, yet make me feel so HUGE?

As we saw in the previous post, being a mom-to-be seems to involve a long list of "to do's" and "not to do's." It's hard to remember all this stuff and manage to squeeze everything in each day. But I'm starting to get into a groove. Here's what my morning routine is shaping up to be:

6:30 - wake up and throw on some clothes, eat a few graham crackers or a handfull of nuts to stave off nausea
6:45-7:15 - take Sasha for a walk
7:15-7:30 - brew a cup of ginger tea (no more coffee for me!), eat some breakfast, take a prenatal multi-vitamin (a giant purple pill nearly the size of my thumb) and drink a glass of milk 7:30-7:45 - take a shower, slather vitamin E oil over all my expanding parts, and get dressed
7:45 - get to work!

The rest of the day looks something like this:

8:30 - morning snack (a few berries or crackers)
10:00 - first lunch (something small - a little cottage cheese and a boiled egg for example)
11:30 - short nap
1:30 - second lunch (perhaps a piece of fruit and string cheese)
4:30 - afternoon snack(carrot sticks and cantelope)
5:30 - feed sasha
5:45 - make dinner, preferably something with vegetables and not containing: onions, garlic, olives, basalmic vinegar, fish, or anything "stinky"
6:30 - take Sasha for a walk to the dog park
7:30 - various errands and "to-do's" around the house
10:00 - get in bed, read some in my pregnancy books, eat a handful of nuts and drink a glass of water

For those who remember our hike of the Appalachian Trail, the way my day revolves around food may seem familiar. There's a big difference here though: the quantities are small and the foods are healthy. You won't catch me snarfing down a large pizza and an order of hot wings. (Ah, the good ol days...)

I was having a heck of a time feeling nautious and generally being turned off to food until I picked up Eating Well When You're Expecting, which has lots of great suggestions on what and how to eat. Not going too long between "mini-meals" was one of their best tips for preventing nausea.

They used to think that the mother's body, through it's complex wash of hormones, sent messages to the growing peanut to tell it how to develop. Now they know that while that's one side of the story, the peanut also sends its own chemical messages to the mother, which stimulate changes in her body and also can shape behavior. According to my books - and my experience so far - our peanut is more than capable of sending the message, "Mom, I'm hungry!"

8/29/2006 - Lots of lists

When you get pregnant, you find out about all kinds of things that you're suddenly not supposed to do while you're "in the family way." Some of them are obvious, like alcohol and drugs. Others seem arbitrary. See how many of these you knew about.

Stuff I'm supposed to avoid:

• alcohol, recreational drugs and smoking (oh darn)
• asprin and ibuprofin (use tylenol instead)
• soft cheeses (because of listeria)
• unheated lunchmeat (also because of listeria)
• cat poop (because of toxoplasmosis)
• raw/undercooked meat or fish (no sushi or rare hamburger for me!)
• fish potentially high in mercury or other toxins: tuna (canned or fresh), shark, swordfish, mackerel, tilefish (never heard of it), mahi mahi, grouper, or amberjack
• alfalfa sprouts (because of bacteria)
• unpasteurized milk products (ditto)
• fresh squeezed - and therefore unpasteurized - fruit juices (double ditto)
• fatty parts, dark meat or organs of poultry and meat (because fattier parts and organs have higher concentrations of toxins)
• coffee and other caffeinated beverages (I switched to ginger tea)
• sodas (drink water and juice instead)
• peanuts and peanut products (may be linked to the development of allergies)
• aspartame, saccharin
• refined carbohydrates (eat complex carbs instead)
• coming into contact with paint or other chemicals
• sitting in hot tubs
• snowboarding and skiing
• riding bikes
• rollerderby (ha ha)
• climbing ladders
• falling down

And then there's also a long list of things I'm supposed to remember to do all the time. Stuff like this:

• drink lots and lots of water - 12 glasses or more a day
• take a prenatal vitamin (mine is huge - *literally* as long as the first joint of my thumb!)
• eat foods high in vitamin A, C, calcium and folic acid
• eat organic when possible (no pesticides or hormones)
• eat local when possible (more nutrients)
• eat nuts and legumes
• take in omega 3s
• choose whole grains
• eat a protein and a carbohydrate at every meal
• get plenty of rest, nap when possible
• walk every day, do yoga or get some other form of mild exercise

But the list I'm most interested in is the stuff I can't wait to do:

• reach 12 weeks so we can share the good news with all our friends and family
• actually look pregnant instead of chubby
• make friends with other expectant moms
• find a prenatal yoga class near me
• feel the baby kick
• get some cute pregnant clothes
• knit some baby things
• sew some baby things
• find a house to live in!
• decorate the baby's room
• go to childbirth classes
• ...

I'm not thinking too far beyond childbirth classes yet. Trying not to get too far ahead of myself!